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It's about everyday people, and banal scenes like the family dinner at Adèle's house-filmed with such care and intimate, close up camerawork-made me think this could very easily be my life, and that the same question applies to both me and Adèle: "Who wants to sit around risking nothing, feeling neither pleasure nor pain?" This isn't a film about super heroes, mafia bosses, or Wall Street traders. Watching Blue Is the Warmest Color demands introspection and self-analysis. If we were to use this logic, what's the point in enjoying anything? We may as well be on our own, never meet anyone, or do anything we enjoy because we'll only end up being disappointed. Not getting involved in committed relationships, marriage or otherwise, because of a fear of them coming to an end is a cop-out. You can't be scared of relationships just because of their potential to cause pain when they end.Īdèle's pain is heart breaking to witness because it is born from the joy she felt when things were going well.
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It shouldn't be seen as a cautionary tale to put people off relationships, but rather an honest portrayal of their meaningful ups and downs. I thought of my incredulous anger, confusion, and frantic questioning when I myself had been mistreated, wondering how something that was meant to be good could make me feel so hopeless.Īs a cynic, I never thought I'd find myself writing this, but the main lesson I took from Blue Is the Warmest Color is to seize the day and be unafraid of intimacy. I remembered cowardly trying to justify past actions while exes cried-or, in some cases, threw things at me.
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I was reminded of times I deliberately said things I knew would cut people, knowing how shit it would make them feel, but doing it anyway. I thought of my parents, their terrible fights and eventual divorce, of my relationships and how it felt to hurt someone and be hurt by someone I loved. The idea that two people who love each other that much can put each other through such pain really got to me. Gay or straight, if we lose someone and want them back, we will do whatever we can-we will forfeit our dignity, if that's what it takes. The scene reminds us that, once we enter a full-on relationship, we emotionally put ourselves on the line. Toward the film's end, when Adèle desperately tries to seduce Emma in an empty bar, begging in vain to rekindle their sexual and emotional connection, it becomes ever clear that this film really isn't about sexual orientation.
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Director Abdellatif Kechiche spends three grueling hours painting an incredibly intimate picture of a relationship, from the fuzzy beginning, through the wobbling uncertainty in the middle, to the dismal end. I didn't get beaten up, lose the cup final, or get a viral disease watching Blue Is the Warmest Color, but I'd be lying if I said seeing it wasn't one of my most painful, draining experiences I've ever been through. I lost a load of weight and my head felt like a giant, pulsing boulder. My nether regions swelled up to grapefruit-like proportions and I degenerated into a state of dehydrated delirium, a sweat-bathed figure talking in nonsensical riddles and vomiting for a fortnight at my mum's house. I left in a flood of tears.įinally, I recall when I had mumps in my early 20s. It ended up pissing it down with rain-Eric Cantona scored twice and Chelsea lost 4-0. I was ten and Chelsea hadn't won a trophy in 23 years. My mind also occasionally returns to 1994-a youthful, more optimistic time in my life-when my dad took me to watch Chelsea vs.